Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
