My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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