11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize