why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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