We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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