We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
