Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
