Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
