No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
