Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
