Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
