Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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