forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I could fuck to npr.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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