3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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