i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
how does that bad decision feel?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
