oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
