marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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