Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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