I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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