I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
