Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
