I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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