CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
