I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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