You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
