i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
