Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away

(440): View more from Ohio

isn't bella the cat???

(216): View more from Ohio

that she is

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.

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(573): View more from Missouri

If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.

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(587): View more from Alberta

My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?

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