she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
