i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.