you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
