I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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