I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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