are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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