Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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