The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He did a backflip because drugs
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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