i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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