areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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