I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
