the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize