I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
