Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
