You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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