I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
