I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
