I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
