I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Still dying that you shit outside
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
