Can Purell be used as lube?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
