R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
