so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
