you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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