theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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