Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
