I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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