So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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