so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
