So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
