i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize