We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
