I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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