Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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